Ted

as Robert

as John's Mom

as Frank

as Young John

as Waitress

as Angelique

as Wife

as Teenage John

as Waiter

as Stagehand

as Gina

as Donny

as Club Girl

as Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)

as Tami-Lynn

as Tracy

as Rex

as Alix

as Husband

as Cherene

as Heavenly

as Tanya

as Ellen

as John Bennett

as Thomas

as Greenbaum Kid

as Michelle

as Southern Newscaster

as Newscaster

as Lori Collins

as Norah Jones

as Narrator (voice)

as Guy

as John's Dad

as Asian Man "Ming"

as Female Newscaster

as Sam Jones

as Sauvignon Blanc

as Ted (voice)

as Crazy Guy

as Girl at Party

as Tom Skerritt

as Plymouth PR Worker